Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize