Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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