Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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