ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
