Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
