She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
