i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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