Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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