Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize