I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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