I'm really into asian looking animals
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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