Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
