what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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