remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize