i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
