2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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