Kiss
Puke
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
