Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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