Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
