no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
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he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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