ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
