Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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