Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
