And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
