So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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