His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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