and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
