Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
