if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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