1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
