she woke up with a sticky ear
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
