...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
