I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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