could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize