my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
