my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize