I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
