They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
