do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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