i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
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My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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