You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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