Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
