i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
high people should be assigned attendants
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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