can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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