everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
