If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
