I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
