i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
