I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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