I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
