So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
