I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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