there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
