im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
