THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
