my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize