the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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