Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Never underestimate the power of titties
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
