so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
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arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
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Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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