two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
